


PL900

by ironspydr, UnfortunatelySux



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Evan, Human Jared, M/M, crush comes outta nowhere, fast burn, fff uhhhhhh, idk - Freeform, its all over the fuckin place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 18:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironspydr/pseuds/ironspydr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux
Summary: Jared’s mother buys him a slightly dysfunctional android to be his friend.





	PL900

Jared was… unsure of what to do. He stood in front of the Android his mother had just brought into their house. He didn't know what to do. Why was it here?

The PL900 Android blinked at him. “Hello,” it said. “You’re Jared, right?”

“Uh. Yeah.” Jared replied. “Why are you here?”

“Mrs. Kleinman bought me to be your friend,” the Android responded, a smile on its face. It looked almost shy. 

“My friend?” What the fuck.

“Y-Yes?” the Android stuttered. 

Jared paused. “What's your name?”

“I don’t have one.”

Jared grimaced. “What am I supposed to call you?”

“Whatever you want? I would have to register a name. That takes me out of demo mode.”

“Demo mode?” Jared had never had an Android before. “Where's my mom? Is she still home?” 

The Android’s features flickered, and the LED on the side of its head was yellow for a moment. “I’m sorry,” it said, “but I’m not sure I understand that command. Please register a name to activate me and unlock my full conversational abilities. CyberLife thanks you for your purchase of one half-price PL900 male Android.”

Jared tsked. “Fine. Register your name.” Jared paused. “Evan.”

It smiled. “My name is Evan.”

Jared eyed it. “Where'd my mom go?”

“Mrs. Kleinman went out again. You’re out of milk. She’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”

“Great,” Jared sighed. “So what exactly do you do?”

“I can do a lot of things,” Evan said. “But my main purpose is to provide companionship to you.”

“Companionship.” Jared repeated. “Right. My mother thinks I'm going to kill myself if I don't have any friends, do she bought me one, right?”

“Um…” Evan’s eyes shifted. “Oh, you have a TV!”

“I do,” Jared hummed. 

Evan’s LED blinked, and the television switched on. “What’s your favorite, um, cartoon? Do you watch cartoons?”

Jared shrugged. “I dunno. Do you like cartoons?”

“I like cartoons,” Evan said. “Like SpongeBob?”

Jared blinked. Really? “Yeah, I know that one.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, it's kinda old, but went on for ages, right?”

“Yeah,” Evan said. “It’s the only, um, show they let me watch at the warehouse. Dunno why.”

Jared nodded. “Weird.”

“We don’t have to watch SpongeBob.”

Jared shrugged, dropping down to sit on the couch. “It's cool, I don't mind. Let's watch it.”

“Oh. Okay.” The television flickered and the channel changed. 

Jared watched as Evan remained in place. “Aren't you gonna sit?”

Evan blinked. “I can if you want me to.”

Jared scoffed. “Sit down, dummy.”

Evan sat down in a swift movement. 

Jared sighed. “So. What's it like being a robot?”

“What’s it like being a human?” Evan retaliated. 

Jared snorted. “Boring.”

“That doesn’t seem right.”

Jared shrugged. “So, do you have, like, all the parts?” 

“You mean a penis?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes,” Evan said. “I’m...equipped.”

Jared couldn't help but glance down. “Interesting.”

Evan turned red. “Uh…”

Jared snorted. “So, what exactly are we supposed to do together, anyway? Jerk each other off? I dunno what to do here.”

“What?! No! Friends don’t do that!”

“I was kidding! Calm down.” Jared laughed.

“Don’t say things like that!”

Jared snorted to himself. “So you're shy, huh?”

Evan hesitated. “You can tell?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, geez. I’m sorry. That’s a horrible first impression. You probably think I’m incompetent! I’m not, I swear! I know, it’s weird to program an android with something like anxiety, but CyberLife says it makes the friendship seem more solid if it can go both ways. Like, um, both rely on each other, you know? God, I think I’m rambling.” Evan’s light was yellow. 

Jared blinked. “Hey, calm down, it's okay. I don't mind if you're anxious. It's cool. You don't have to get all worked up, you're alright.”

Evan appeared to be breathing hard. “I’m alright?”

Jared nodded, getting slightly concerned. “It's okay. You're alright.”

The LED turned blue again. “Right,” Evan said. “Sorry. That happens sometimes.”

“It's fine,” Jared shrugged. “So, do you, like… feel things?”

Evan shifted. “Sort of. I have desires. I can feel some emotions, just not the same way you can. I’m a more advanced model.” He beamed at that. 

Jared nodded. “So what kind of things can you feel?”

“Oh. Happiness, a certain amount of sadness, you know, things like that. To seem as friendly as possible. A friend that doesn’t get angry when you talk about being bullied or something isn’t a very good friend.”

Jared nodded. “I see. So, are you gonna end up with, like, crushes and stuff? Like are you gonna fall in love with our toaster or?”

“No,” Evan said. “You know machines are different, right? I’m not compatible with a toaster. That being said, it’s strictly against my programming to feel romantic interest, so no toaster babies either way. Sorry.”

Jared nodded. “Interesting. I've never really talked to an Android before.”

“How? We’re everywhere. You go to school, don’t you?”

Jared grimaced. “I do, but no one really likes me. So I don't bother talking to their androids, either.”

“No one likes you?”

Jared shrugged.

“I like you,” Evan said. “Those other kids must be pretty dumb not to see that you’re cool. And I’ve only known you for nine minutes and forty-three seconds.”

Jared laughed. “Maybe that's why you like me. Anyway, you have to say that. That's what you were bought to do.”

“I can still dislike things. You don’t think every household Android loves their job, do you? They’re programmed to say they do. I’m not. I’m honest!” Evan beamed again. 

Jared smiled slightly. “I suppose you're not so bad.”

Evan jolted. “You wanna know something really cool?”

“Sure?”

“I can tell what any plant is by licking it!”

Jared laughed loudly. “What? Why licking?”

“I dunno. But it’s fun. Or at least the training demo was.”

Jared grinned. “Show me?”

“Do you have a plant somewhere?” Evan asked, looking around. 

Jared looked around. “Uh, there's one by the TV.”

Evan stood up. “Perfect.” He went over and picked the small plant up, sticking his tongue right on it.

Jared laughed. “So?”

Evan blinked. “Well. It’s fake.”

Jared practically wheezed. “Oh my god.”

“Now you know.”

“Now I know!” Jared nodded, still laughing.

“Are you laughing at me?”

“No! I'm laughing at the situation.”

“Oh. Okay. I see how it could be funny.” Evan went and sat back down. 

Jared eventually calmed down. “I haven't laughed like that in a good while.”

Evan smiled. “So I’d say this is going pretty well.”

“Better than expected.”

“I expected it to go well.”

“I didn't know what to expect.”

“Well, I didn’t think you would. You didn’t know about me until eleven minutes and twelve seconds ago.”

Jared hummed. “Right. More importantly, where are you going to sleep? We don't have an extra room.” Jared paused. “Do you sleep?”

“I don’t sleep,” Evan said. “Your mom didn’t, um, tell me where to stay? I was planning on just, like, staying outside or something. So I don’t take up room. I really don’t want to be a burden on your family.”

Jared shook his head. “We're not gonna make you stay outside, Evan.”

“What? Why not? You can do whatever you want with me.”

Jared frowned. “Because that's not fair.”

“Fair,” Evan echoed. 

Jared nodded. “Yeah. It wouldn't be fair to leave you outside over night.”

“I don’t think fairness is in my programming.”

Jared blinked. “Oh. Well, it's not fair.”

“Then what do I do?”

Jared sighed. “I dunno.”

“Sorry,” Evan mumbled, looking dejected. 

“Don't be. We can ask my mom later.”

“She’ll be back in two minutes,” Evan offered. 

“Thanks.”

“Um, will she like me?”

“I mean, she bought you so she has to like you a little at least.”

“But that isn’t the same.”

“She'll like you.”

“Oh. Good. I hope so.” Evan smiled. 

Jared shrugged. “I'm sure she will.”

Evan nodded. “So, um, sorry the plant was a fake. Anything else you want to see?”

Jared smiled. “We can try a different plant?”

“Do you have one?”

“Uh…” Jared paused. “Wait here.” He hurried outside.

Evan obediently stayed still. 

Jared came back in with a handful of grass.

“Oh?” Evan eyed it. “Give it here.” He paused. “Please.”

Jared handed it over.

Evan instantly put his tongue on it. His eyes widened and his light blinked yellow. “Marijuana?”

“It's grass.”

“This is marijuana.”

Jared blinked. “It's grass. From the yard.”

“No, it’s cannabis.”

Jared blinked. “Hold on.” Jared hurried out of the house, returning with a standard Daisy from his mom's garden.

Evan took the flower and gave it a lick. “That’s the good kush. It’s weed.”

“It's a daisy.”

“It tastes like marijuana.”

Jared paused. “Come with me.” He led him up to his room.

Evan followed him. “Are we engaging in friendly behavior?”

“Yes. Kind of.” Jared pulled open a drawer, grabbing something. “Try tasting this one?”

“I suspect it’ll taste like weed no matter what,” Evan said dismissively. “I personally don’t find that funny. What is it, a rose?”

“It's weed.”

“What?!”

“Try it! I'm curious.”

Evan sighed and took it, licking it like he had the others. “Wait, this isn’t weed. This is Amorphophallus titanum. It’s indigenous to Sumatra, how do you have some here?”

Jared blinked. “What?”

“Amorphophallus titanum. It’s the world’s largest flower.”

“Huh?”

“Looks like this.” Evan opened his palm and projected an image of a huge, waxy plant. 

“Oh, wow.”

“Have you ever been to Sumatra, Jared?” Evan collapsed the projection. 

“No.”

“Has your family?”

“Nope.”

“How incredibly odd.”

“It's weed, Evan.”

“Is my tongue broken?” Evan asked. 

“Mayhaps.”

“Damn. Sorry. I wish it wasn’t. That’s kinda my only cool thing.”

Jared shook his head. “It's endearing.”

“My broken tongue endears you?”

“Yeah.”

“Odd,” Evan said. 

Jared shrugged.

“Your mother is back.” The door opened. 

Jared jolted, grabbing the weed and throwing it to the other side of the room. “Mom!”

Jared’s mother eyed him, but gave up trying to find something wrong. “I got the milk,” she said, but it was obviously a poor attempt at a segway into a question. “How are you liking your PL900?”

Jared hesitated. “Why'd you buy him?”

His mother blinked. “To keep you company.”

“You think I can't make friends on my own.”

“Jared, you haven’t yet. So for now, practice with this thing. It was half off.”

Jared's previous good mood was taking a turn. “Just because I haven't doesn't mean I can't!”

“Then show me! With that!”

Jared groaned. “He has to be my friend, that doesn't mean anything!”

“Are you giving me an attitude?”

Jared gritted his teeth. “No Ma’am.”

“Then get to socializing.” His mother left without speaking to Evan. 

Jared groaned, flopping down on his bed. “God.”

Evan coughed. “I don’t think she likes me.”

“I don't think she has an opinion of you yet.”

“I do.”

“She doesn't.”

“She doesn’t have a very good opinion of you, though, does she?”

“No,” he sighed. “She doesn't.”

Evan looked at him. “Sorry.”

Jared just shrugged. 

Evan shifted on his feet. “You don’t have to, um, talk to me, you know. You can find human friends. It’s just my programming, y-y’know?”

“I'm not just going to abandon you.”

“That’s...sweet of you.”

“I may be an asshole, but I'm not cruel.”

Evan didn’t say anything. 

Jared sighed. “Do you sleep?”

“You asked that. I don’t.”

“Then you can stay in here, I guess. I have a recliner by the TV, you can watch cartoons or something while I sleep.”

“Is that not...creepy? Or annoying?”

“Nah, I don't mind.” 

“Oh,” Evan said. “Well, thank you. The room of honor.”

Jared laughed. “Right.”

“Except for the weed maybe. You really shouldn’t smoke drugs.”

Jared perked up. “Weed is exactly what I need right now, you're so right!” He hopped up, shuffling over to where he'd tossed it.

“No! That’s the opposite of what I’m saying! No weed!” 

“Can you light this?”

Evan blinked. “Not unless you order me to.” He huffed. “I don’t want you to smoke a drug.”

“It's harmless, Evan. It makes me feel better. Light it for me.”

“It makes you feel better?”

Jared nodded. 

Evan hesitated. “O-Okay, give it here.”

Jared handed it over. “Do you breathe?”

After a moment, Evan’s finger burned a glowing orange, and he lit the joint. “I do, but I don’t need to.” 

“So would this do anything to you?” Jared took it, cracking open his window and taking a hit, blowing the smoke outside.

“I’m not exactly sure? It might mess up my, um, processing?”

Jared beckoned him over. “Come try.”

“You want me to smoke?”

Jared sat him down by the window. “Here.” He carefully held it between Evan's lips. “Take a big inhale and then breathe in some air so it really gets in your lungs then blow it out the window.”

Evan spoke around the object in his mouth. “I don’t have lungs.”

“Well, try it anyway.”

Evan did. 

Jared took the joint when Evan was done, taking another hit and passing it back.

“You want me to do that again?”

Jared nodded. “It won't do anything if you just do it once.”

“I don’t think it will affect me either way.” Evan repeated his action anyway. 

Jared shrugged. “It's worth a shot.” He took another hit.

Evan hesitantly got the joint again from Jared. “Do you feel better yet?”

Jared shrugged. “I'm getting there.”

Evan nodded and took another hit. “I can say, this is weird.”

Jared hummed. “Is it doing anything to you?”

“Hard to tell.”

Jared hummed again as he took another hit. 

“How do you feel?”

“Better.”

“Good. I think I’m...bored?” Evan was confused with himself. 

Jared took one last big hit, passing it back. “Last one, then I'll put it out.”

Evan took a longer hit than he had before. He blinked a few times, and his LED remained yellow. “Huh.”

“Hm?” Jared took it, putting it out on the window sill.

“I can’t seem to access some of my program.” 

“Like what?”

“I’m not sure.”

Jared giggled. “The robot is high.”

“But I’m a machine.”

“A high machine.”

“You’re high,” Evan said. “I’m glitching.”

“'Cause you're high,” Jared grinned.

“That can’t happen.”

Jared hummed. “How do you feel?”

Evan blinked. “Hairspray.”

Jared laughed. “Yeah?”

“Childbirth?”

Jared snorted to himself, flopping over to lay his head in Evan's lap. “God, I always get horny when I'm high,” he sighed.

Evan’s hand came up to lay on Jared’s cheek. “Masturbate.”

Jared hummed thoughtfully. “Huh?”

“Masturbate?” Evan’s voice sounded distorted. 

Jared blinked lazily. “Oh yeah,” he mumbled. “That's a thing.” His fingers toyed with one of his belt loops.

Evan didn’t move. 

Jared stared at nothing, seemingly lost in thought. He didn't notice when his hand began drifting. 

Evan started running a diagnostic on his processor. 

Jared popped the button of his jeans, slipping his hand in to palm himself lazily. 

Evan’s hand twitched on Jared’s cheek as he finished his diagnostic, the results inconclusive. 

Jared absently leaned into the touch, eyes lidded with a mix of weed and lust as he worked himself up.

Evan’s LED blinked, but he couldn’t decipher why. His programming was still inhibited. Something felt wrong, but it didn’t make sense. 

Jared let out a soft noise, his eyes falling closed as he focused on the feeling of his hand. He stopped to kick off his jeans before resuming his previous position.

Evan looked up as soon as the door opened. 

Jared’s mother was holding her phone to her chest. “I just got a call from CyberLife saying your android requested a diagnostic, did you break it already?” She turned to them. “Jared!” she shrieked. 

Jared jolted. “Shit!” He rolled over onto his stomach. “Get out! He's fine!”

His mother glared at him. “Are you having sex with it?!”

“No! Leave!”

“Put your damn pants on! Are you high?!”

“Get out!” Jared didn't move.

“Don’t have sex with that damn robot, Jared!” His mother stormed out, slamming the door.

Jared huffed, rolling back onto his stomach, throwing an arm over his eyes.

Evan blinked. “Are you gay?”

Jared sighed heavily. “Yes, Evan.”

Evan nodded. “Pineapple acid.”

“Thanks. I'm still horny.”

“Masturbate again,” Evan offered. He couldn’t seem to recall if friends did that together. 

Jared shook his head. “No thanks. My mom just showed up. No dicks allowed now.”

Evan shrugged. “Okay. Whatever you want.”

Jared sighed. “I'm gonna take a shower.”

“Okay.”

Jared got to his feet and headed to the bathroom. 

Evan paused, scanning the area. Something struck him. He found what he needed, and got to work on an idea he thought Jared would like. 

Jared only took about 25 minutes. Once he was clean he stepped out, drying off and pulling on some sweatpants.

Evan finished up his work and stood by the door, almost proud of himself for working so diligently. 

Jared yawned as he exited the bathroom, heading towards his room. “Evan? You in there?”

Evan opened the door. “Yes,” he called. He waited for Jared to get in. 

Jared shuffled in. 

Evan bit his lip, but held his hand out, a small object in his palm. “I, um, made you a friendship bracelet.”

Jared blinked. “What?” He stared down at the object. “With what?”

Evan not-so-subtly stepped in front of an old t-shirt he’d ripped up to use the threads from. “Uh, that doesn’t matter.”

Jared laughed softly, plucking the bracelet from Evan's grip. He ran his fingers over it. “Thanks.”

Evan smiled. “I thought it would spark a bond or something? Um, I scanned your room and tried to guess your favorite colors. Oh! And it should fit perfectly!”

Jared smiled dumbly. He held it out to Evan. “Put it on me?”

Evan nodded. He grabbed the bracelet and pushed it over Jared’s hand so it rested on his wrist. “Perfect!”

Jared smiled. “Thank you, Evan.”

“Of course! It's a friend thing. I didn't see any other friendship bracelets in your room, so I stepped up.”

“Thanks,” Jared snorted. “Why don't you go find something you like on TV?”

“Oh,” Evan said. “Right.” The television came on. 

Jared cleaned up his bed, getting it ready for the night. “You sure you're okay while I sleep?”

Evan nodded. “As long as I don’t bother you.”

“Nah.” Jared shrugged, climbing into bed. “Night, Evan.”

Evan looked back at him. “Goodnight, Jared.”

Jared gave him a smile, flipping off the lamp.

Evan smiled too, though it couldn’t be seen in the dark. The light from the TV wasn’t enough. 

Jared curled up in his blankets, closing his eyes. 

Evan watched him, but turned back to the TV. He didn’t need to act like a creep.

Jared eventually drifted off to sleep.

\-----

The TV had remained on all night, and Evan hadn’t realized much time had passed until the light from Jared’s window shone down on the sleeping boy’s face. 

Jared shifted, waking up slowly. He grumbled to himself, stretching out his back.

Evan turned to him. “Jared?”

Jared jolted slightly. “Oh, shit, Evan, hi.”

“Good morning,” Evan said, smiling. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Jared yawned. “Slept fine.”

“Oh, good. You snored for five minutes and six seconds at three this morning.”

Jared blinked. “Great. Thanks.”

Evan nodded. “I thought you’d like to know.”

Jared hummed. “What time is it?”

“8:24.”

Jared sighed. “I hate school.”

Evan gasped. “School! You’re gonna be late! Get up!”

Jared groaned, crawling out of bed.

“Get dressed!” Evan offered. “There’s no time for whining!”

“You're so bossy,” Jared whined, moving to get dressed anyway. “Am I supposed to bring you to school with me? How does this work?”

“I don’t know, it’s probably your choice. I don’t have a preference.” 

Jared sighed. “Do you want to come to school?”

Evan hesitated. “Very much so, yes.”

“Fine. I guess you can come.”

“Really?!”

“Sure.”

“Does my hair look okay?”

Jared snorted. “It looks fine.”

“Are you sure though?”

“I have working eyes, Evan.”

“I know you do, but they don’t work _that_ well, because you wear glasses.”

Jared scoffed. “Which make them work fine!”

“Then put them on and tell me if my hair still looks okay!”

Jared tsked, putting his glasses on. “Your hair looks fine!”

“Thank you!”

Jared rolled his eyes. “No problem.”

Evan smiled. “Your hair looks nice too.”

Jared laughed. “Bed head?”

“I like that style.”

“Thanks.”

“Um, we should go,” Evan said. 

Jared grimaced. “I guess.”

“How does school work?”

“You drone through the day depressed and alone until you can finally go home and sleep. Then you do it again.”

Evan blinked. “But you don’t have to be alone anymore. I’m here. Unless you want to be depressed?”

“No one wants to be depressed.”

“Then don’t be alone!” Evan said, smiling. He didn’t quite understand. 

Jared nodded anyway. “Thanks.”

“You’ve got me now, right? So I can help you. I’ll do your homework!”

“Right,” Jared smiled. “C'mon. We gotta get going.”

“Do you need breakfast?”

“Nah.”

“Are you sure? I recommend breakfast.”

Jared quirked an eyebrow. “Not hungry.”

“Do you ever eat breakfast, Jared?”

“No?”

“We can fix that.”

“Do we need to?”

“I would appreciate it.”

Jared shrugged. “Whatever.”

Evan’s LED blinked. “Sorry.”

“No, don't be sorry. I don't mind.”

Evan watched him carefully. “I can wait in the car if you want. While you’re in class.”

“No, It gets hot in there.”

“That doesn’t bother me.”

Jared shook his head. “I'm not gonna make you wait in the car. You seem excited to meet people, anyway.”

Evan smiled sheepishly. “Kinda. Is that bad? This is my first, uh, lifetime, I guess.”

Jared smiled. “It's not bad. It's sweet.”

“Sweet?” Evan’s LED was yellow. 

Jared nodded.

“L-Let’s get to school, yeah?”

“Right,” Jared nodded, leading the way outside to his car.

Evan followed him eagerly, but kept his distance so he wouldn’t make Jared uncomfortable. 

Jared hopped into the car, waiting for Evan to follow.

Evan did so smoothly, closing the door behind him. 

“So, are we getting breakfast then?”

“No, you’ll be late. It was a suggestion for future mornings, assuming you’re able to wake up earlier.”

Jared shrugged. “We’ll see.”

Evan frowned. “At least try it.”

“Fine,” Jared shrugged, starting the car.

\-----

It didn’t take long to get to Jared’s school. Evan looked out the window with wide eyes. “Huh,” he said quietly. “That’s a lot of people.”

“Yeah,” Jared muttered.

“All of those kids go to that little school?”

“Yeah.”

Evan gulped. “Maybe I should stay in the car after all.”

Jared laughed. “Cold feet?”

“I have no body heat, Jared, my feet are always cold.”

Jared rolled his eyes.

Evan tilted his head in confusion. 

“Nothing, just come on. You're not sitting in the car.”

Evan frowned. “Fine.”

Jared got out, stretching lazily. “I dunno what to do with you,” he admitted. “Are you allowed in my classes with me?”

Evan shrugged. “Just say I’m a service android. Those are common.” He smiled. “It’s not that much of a lie.”

Jared grunted. “Right.”

“Um,” Evan hummed, fidgeting. “You’re the leader here. I’m not sure how this works.”

Jared shrugged, but started heading into the school regardless.

Evan scrambled to keep up. “When is school over?”

“4pm.”

Evan groaned. “That’s a lot of hours.”

“Yeah,” Jared sighed.

“That's seven whole hours. That's 2% of my existence!”

Jared laughed. “2%? I've had to do this five days a week since first grade! How much of my existence is that?” Jared grimaced. “Actually, I don't want to know. Just come on.”

“It’s a lot,” Evan confirmed. “Uh, I’ll follow you.”

Jared nodded. “Yeah, fine, whatever.” He shuffled into the school, automatically grimacing at the linoleum tiles of the hallway.

Evan, after a few seconds of looking up and around in wonder, stared at the floor as he calculated the rest of the school would look the same. It seemed like a boring place. 

Jared sighed, starting the trek to his locker. It required lots of careful weaving through students.

It didn’t take long for him to completely lose Evan. 

Once he got to his locker, he turned, instantly groaning when he realized Evan wasn't behind him. “God damn it.”

Evan had been swept away by a group of Jared’s peers. His back was against a wall of lockers as they borderline harassed him. 

Jared quickly crammed his backpack into his locker, slamming it shut and hurrying back down the hallway in search of Evan.

A few guys had their phones in front of Evan’s face, screen facing him. Evan kept shaking his head as they laughed. 

Jared cursed when he finally located Evan, pressed up against so lockers. “Hey!” He called, shoving past the guys surrounding him. “Fuck off!”

That was all it took, and the boys were gone as quickly as they’d swamped Evan. 

The android blinked, his LED cycling a goldish yellow. “Jared?”

Jared looked him up and down in concern. “Are you okay? What was that all about? What were they doing?”

Evan stared ahead. “Why couldn’t I read those curvy letters?”

“What?”

“In the boxes on their phones! I couldn’t read them and they laughed at me!”

Jared's eyebrows furrowed. “I don't understand.”

“They told me to read a bunch of curvy letters in a box on their phones and I couldn’t do it!”

Jared blinked. “You mean like a captcha?”

“Yes!”

Jared paused. “You really couldn't read it?”

“I wish I could!”

Jared bit back a laugh.

“I'm sad Jared.”

“Why?” Jared bit his lip. “Wait, aren't androids supposed to like, not feel that?”

“I told you, I'm programed with the basic emotions to seem more like a real friend.”

“Right. Why are you sad? They're assholes, ignore them.”

“Ignore a human?” Evan asked. 

“Yes?”

“I don't think that's in my programming.”

Jared tsked. “Well, listening to me is, right? I'm telling you to ignore it.”

“Choosing priority,” Evan said, his light yellow. “I’ll ignore them from now on,” he said as his LED flickered back to blue. 

Jared nodded. “Good.”

“Good.”

Jared grabbed his hand. “Don't get lost this time.” 

Evan stared at their joint hands. “I’ll try not to, Jared.”

Jared nodded, once again leading the way to his locker.

Evan made it this time. “Your stuff is in there?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah.”

“You lock it and stuff?” 

Jared nodded again, pulling it open.

“Oh, it’s small.”

“Yes.”

“Sad.”

Jared nodded. “Yes.”

Evan frowned. “This is bad.”

Jared snorted. “You think?”

Evan nodded. 

Jared rolled his eyes, pulling out some textbooks and handing them over. “Carry these.”

Evan took them. “Of course.”

“Thanks.”

Evan smiled. “Happy to help.”

Jared closed the locker, ignoring when someone bumped into him and knocked him against it without pausing to apologise.

“Hey!” Evan said. “That was– Should I tell an adult?”

“No,” Jared brushed it off. “It's fine.”

“That was incredibly rude of them.”

“They do that.”

“What?!”

Jared shrugged. “That's life for the unpopular, bud.”

“We can be popular.”

“Sure.”

“We can.” Evan smiled. 

“Okay.” He didn't believe him.

“What’s your first class?” Evan asked politely. 

“English.”

“But you're speaking English.”

“Thank you, follow me.” He headed off to his first class.

Evan scurried behind. “Do I get a desk?”

“No one sits next to me.”

“Why not?”

“They don't like me, Evan.”

“Oh, right. Well, I do, and we can be popular together. Alone!”

That did make Jared smiled. “Yeah.”

“Can I have the desk by you then?”

“Yeah, Ev.”

“Great!”

Jared laughed. “Yeah.”

“Can I do schoolwork too?” Evan asked. 

“I mean, I guess.”

“Like a real boy,” Evan mumbled. 

Jared laughed. “Yeah, Ev. Like robo Pinocchio.”

Evan nodded happily. 

Jared led him into the classroom.

Evan smiled as he looked around. There were books everywhere.

Jared slid into his seat. “Come, Evan.”

Evan instantly found the unclaimed desk. He turned to Jared and smiled. 

Jared smiled back, giving him a thumbs up.

Evan effectively ignored the stares from students shuffling in. 

Jared cleared his throat, picking at his fingernails. He ignored when a balled up paper hit him in the back of the head.

Evan didn't. “Hey! What the hell?!”

“Ignore it,” Jared urged.

Evan frowned. “But-”

“Ignore it, Evan.”

“I– But that contradicts my programming of being a good friend!”

“Ignore it!”

“I'm extremely conflicted!”

“Well, just do as I say!”

“But Jared!”

“No, Evan!” Another paper hit his shoulder.

Evan stood up. “Jared.”

“Sit down, Evan.”

Suddenly the thought of telling the other students to stop was too nerve wracking for Evan. He sat down. 

“Thank you. Now, please. Just ignore it.”

“O-Okay.”

“Thank you.” Jared sighed. 

“Sorry.”

“Don't be. It's okay.”

“I nearly went against your orders.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“I’m sorry Jared,” Evan said. 

“It's fine. I didn't think you even could go against orders.”

“No, of course not. I’m not a deviant.”

Jared nodded. “Right.”

“Though it is strange for an android to be at school.” Evan seemed to be coming to his senses. “Maybe I should go.”

“No, don't! You said together, remember?”

“Of course I remember, but is this not deviant behaviour?”

“I dunno.”

“...Fair enough.”

Jared held a hand out. “Can you hand me my English book?” 

Evan put it in Jared’s hand immediately. 

“Thank you.” He set it on the corner of his desk. A note was slipped on top of it as a student passed his desk to go put something in the trash. Jared purposefully ignored it.

Evan didn’t, again. “What’s that?”

“Nothing.” Jared didn't touch it.

“Huh?”

“It's nothing.”

“Then open it.”

“...No.”

“But it’s nothing.”

“So I don't need to read it.’”

“Open it.”

Jared frowned. “I don't want to.”

“Fine I guess.” Evan looked away. 

Jared sighed. “Are you gonna pout if I don't?”

“Yes.”

He sighed again. “Fine.” He unfolded the note. It contained a few choice words for 'gay’.

“Well?”

Jared balled it up. “It's nothing.”

“Can I see?”

“You don't want to.”

“I don't?”

“No.”

“I don't want to see it.”

“Correct.”

Evan nodded. “Okay.”

Jared shoved it in his pocket. 

Evan stared ahead. 

“You're not still pouting, right?”

“No sir.”

“Sir?”

“S-Sorry, I just– I’m not a deviant. I’ll do what you say.”

“Evan, You–” he was unfortunately cut off by the teacher. Jared perked up. “Wait here, I'll go tell her about you.”

“Okay?”

Jared got up, shuffling up to the teacher. He talked to her quietly, gesturing over to Evan for a second. Eventually she nodded. 

Evan smiled to himself. That had to be a good sign. He watched as Jared returned to his seat. 

“All set.”

“Great!” Evan grinned at him. 

The teacher got her work together, starting class as usual. 

Evan listened intently. 

Jared listened partially.

Evan raised his hand. 

Jared's eyes widened. “Evan, what-” The teacher called on him.

Evan's hand sunk down. “Uh, nevermind.”

Jared gave him a confused look.

Evan coughed. 

Jared rolled his eyes. 

Evan's hand went up again.

The teacher called on him again.

“Um, will this be on the test?” he asked meekly. 

She blinked. “Probably.”

Evan nodded, obeying Jared's orders from earlier and ignoring the laughing students. 

Jared winced in sympathy.

Evan smiled at him, proud the teacher answered his question. 

Jared smiled back, giving him a thumbs up. “Nice job, bud.”

Evan's LED blinked a bright blue as he grinned. 

Jared smiled to himself. Even he had to admit that that was kind of cute.

Evan turned back to listen to the teacher again. 

Jared listened a little more closely.

The lecture was about one boring play or another, but Evan was invested. 

Jared was not. He was doing fine in this class, so he could afford not paying attention for a day.

Evan nodded along with the teacher's theories about how to interpret the work. 

Jared watched in amusement.

Evan somehow commandeered a notebook and pen, and had begun taking notes. 

Jared smiled to himself.

Something in Evan's demeanor changed, and he began taking his notes more seriously. 

Jared blinked. Why was he so into it, anyway?

At the end of the class, Evan stood up and smiled, giving his folded paper to the teacher. He then joined Jared at his desk. “That was fun.” 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. But her ideas of the meaning behind the passage were not even close to what Shakespeare intended. So I wrote her the truth and gave it to her. It's pretty interesting.”

“Huh.”

Evan smiled again. “What now?”

“Math.”

“I like math!”

“Great! I'm failing.”

“I can help.”

“Isn't that cheating?”

“No, you own me. I’m just a real fancy tool! Like a calculator.”

“Oh? Like a talking dild- No, bad Jared.”

“Talking what?”

“Talking boy. Like a boy. Who can talk.”

“A real boy?”

“A real boy, yep.”

“Cool!”

Jared nodded. “Uh-huh!”

“She answered my question too!”

“She did!” Jared smiled.

“Like I'm a real student!”

Jared laughed. “Exactly.”

“Did you tell her to do that?”

“No?”

Evan smiled wider. “Good.”

Jared returned the expression. “You really like school, huh?”

“It’s growing on me.”

“I feel like it didn't need to grow.”

“Well I didn’t like the curvy letters, so there was room for improvement.”

“It's called a captcha.”

“Don’t like that!” Evan said. 

Jared chuckles. “I know, Evan.”

“Can we go to lunch after math?”

“It's a set schedule, Ev. I can't decide when lunch is.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Lunch is after Math.”

“Oh! Then yes!”

Jared laughed. “Yes.”

“I need to make sure you eat,” Evan said simply. 

Jared hummed. “Right.”

Evan followed him to math. 

Jared frowned. “The seat next to me is taken, but the one behind isn't.”

“Oh! That’s mine now,” Evan assured. 

Jared laughed. “I'll go tell the teacher who you are.”

“Okay!” Evan took the only seat that could be his. 

Jared scurried off, once again talking to the teacher and receiving a nod.

Evan had his new notebook open already. 

Jared shuffled back to his seat, giving Evan a thumbs up.

Evan smiled at him, drawing a thumbs up in his notebook. 

Jared laughed. “Why'd you draw it?”

“Thought it was important.”

“You were right. Carry on.”

“Thanks!”

Jared nodded. 

Evan went back to doodling. 

Jared watched idly as they waited for class to start.

Soon, Evan had a whole page full of perfectly drawn sketches of their classmates. 

“Wow. You're really good.”

Evan shook his head. “It isn’t skill. Androids are all good at this sort of thing. Like handwriting.”

Jared hummed. “Weird.”

“Androids don’t have talents.”

“That can't be true.”

“We have programs.”

Jared hummed. 

Evan sensed discomfort. “Sorry.”

Jared shook his head. “Don't be.”

Evan looked extremely conflicted. 

“That's an order.”

“I...but I’m…”

“Nope! Don't be sorry!”

“But…”

Jared quirked an eyebrow.

“But I’m–”

Jared waited.

Evan’s LED was red. “Y-Yes sir.”

Jared frowned. “Are you okay?”

“...No…”

“What's wrong?”

“I really want to be sorry.”

“Huh.”

“S–...Hnng.”

Jared watched on. “Yeah?”

“I feel gross,” Evan complained. 

Jared hummed. “Ignore it.”

Evan groaned. 

Jared gave him a reassuring smile.

“Can I be sorry now?”

“No? Will you break if I say no?”

“Maybe.”

“Don't break.”

Evan whined. 

“Do not.”

“Can we do math now?”

“One more minute.”

“Okay,” Evan said, pouting. 

The teacher got up after a minute, signalling the start of class.

Evan’s pout turned into a smile. 

Jared, unfortunately, couldn't see him.

More unfortunately, Evan couldn’t see him either, and soon, his smile turned into a flat line. 

This class passed much slower than the last one.

After a short while, Evan got bored. The math had all been correct, so there was no need to write the teacher a letter this time. He tapped his pen against his desk. 

Jared turned and shot him a look before straightening back up and facing forward.

Evan blinked in confusion, but continued fidgeting with his pen. 

After a while, Jared turned and quickly slipped a note onto Evan's desk. It was a crude drawing of him that Jared had done out of boredom.

Evan stared at it. He tapped Jared’s shoulder. “What the hell is this?” he whispered. “It’s not anatomically correct.”

Jared snorted to himself, but didn't respond.

“Is it supposed to be funny?”

Jared rolled his eyes even though Evan couldn't see it, and quickly scribbled something down on another piece of paper, passing it back. It read 'its just a dumb drawing. I'm bored. Art ain't perfect. You could try doing something not perfect if you want’ then he had drawn a couple dicks.

Evan was quiet for a while as he worked on a new sheet of paper. After a minute, he passed up a drawing of Jared in the same fashion as Jared’s own drawings.

Jared smiled dumbly. He did another one, this one an unflattering portrayal of the teacher, and passed it back.

Evan actually laughed that time, passing up his own drawing of the students who had cornered him that morning. 

Jared bit back a snort at the drawing. He made a crude captcha and passed it back.

Evan scoffed at the paper and scribbled the offending curvy letters out. He drew an angry face and handed it back. 

Jared giggled to himself. He drew a picture of Evan looking mad and handed it back.

Evan laughed again, passing up a drawing of Jared looking smug. 

Jared sent back a rather questionable drawing of Evan.  
Evan’s LED blinked yellow as he stared at the drawing. He leaned up again to whisper to Jared. “Um, thanks for the big dick energy, Jared, but I don’t have a penis this large.”

Jared drew another one and passed it over.

“Jared, this one is even bigger.”

Jared nodded. 

“No.”

Jared didn't respond, but gave him a thumbs up.

Evan blinked. “It’s not accurate, Jared.”

Jared gave him a thumbs down.

Evan nodded. “Yeah, bad.”

Jared snorted, passing back a new drawing.

Evan stared. “This one is the size of a building,” he said. “It’s not even connected.”

Jared snorted. He took the paper back and drew another.

“...At least it’s connected this time. Why do you keep drawing dicks?”

Jared wrote in big letters. 'I <3 Dick’

Evan put a hand on Jared’s shoulder and smiled. “I support you.”

Jared snorted, scribbling out another message. 'Thanks, big dick rick.’

Evan shrank back in his seat after a glare from the teacher and passed up a page that said ‘my name isn’t Rick, it’s Evan’. 

Jared passed it back. 'Big Dick Evan.’

Evan snorted and drew his own interpretation of the phrase, passing the sheet back up to Jared. 

Jared took one look at the drawing and instantly choked, his nose bleeding heavily.

Evan tapped Jared’s shoulder again. “Are you choking?”

Jared slapped a hand over his nose, cramming the drawing in his pocket. Curse Evan and his hyper realistic dick drawing. 

“Jared? Are you okay?”

Jared got to his feet. “Bathroom!” He hurried out of the room.

Evan blinked. He didn’t know if he was supposed to follow. He moved to stand, but received another glare from the math teacher, so he sat back down. 

Jared took a while.

Evan eyed him as he returned. Class was almost over. “Jared, what happened?”

Jared gave him a thumbs up.

Evan’s head tilted in confusion. “You’re better now?”

“Mhm!”

“Great!” Evan smiled. “Class ends soon. The teacher said we have free time.”

Jared nodded. “Great!” His voice cracked.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Evan raised an eyebrow. 

Jared nodded. “Uh-huh!”

“You seem a lot happier, at least.”

Jared blushed. “Yep! I'm good.”

“Good. I had gotten worried. It’s lunch time now.”

Jared hummed. “Yeah?”

Evan nodded. “Yeah. You said so, right? Lunch is after math?”

Jared nodded. “Right, sorry. I'm a bit out of it.”

“What? Why?”

“No reason.”

“Sounds suspicious.”

“Forget it, Ev.”

“Yes sir,” Evan mumbled.

Jared straightened as the bell rang. “Lunch time.”

“Finally,” Evan said, closing his notebook. “The most cliché of school activities.”

“Are you excited?”

“Should I not be?”

“No, I just think it's cute.”

“...Cute?”

“Yeah.”

“Um,” Evan mumbled. “Can androids blush?”

“Can you?”

“...Seems so.” 

Jared smiled. “Cool. It's blue.”

“Well. T-Thyrium is blue.”

“Cute. Blue is my favorite color.”

Evan’s blush deepened. “I-Is it?”

Jared nodded. “Definitely.”

“W-Well, um, where’s the cafeteria?”

“I'll show you,” Jared stood.

Evan followed suit, smiling to himself. 

Jared sat Evan down at a small table in the corner.

Evan eyed the place. “Cozy.”

“Not at all, but good try.”

“I mean your little seat. It’s nice. Right under the vent so you’re never too hot or cold,” Evan observed. 

Jared hummed. “I suppose.”

“I like it,” Evan said. “Do you want me to get your food for you?”

Jared hummed. “The food is gross today.”

Evan watched the trays of other students as they bustled around. “Maybe, but you need to eat something.”

Jared shrugged.

“Please?”

Jared relented, standing up. “Alright, stay here.”

“Oh, you’re doing it yourself?”

Jared nodded. “I'll be back in a sec.”

“Oh, okay.” Evan smiled at him. 

Jared shuffled off into the lunch line.

Evan watched in curiosity. He saw other students laughing and talking together, contrasting with Jared’s lonesome stride. Something about it made him upset. 

Eventually Jared made it through, shuffling back to the table with a tray in hand.

“Welcome back,” Evan said, smiling. 

Jared dropped down into his seat. “Thanks,” he laughed.

Evan’s smile faltered as his LED blinked. “CyberLife sent me a message,” he said. “It’s warning all android owners about the rise in deviancy.” He laughed. “We don’t have to worry about that. I know what I am.”

Jared nodded. “Right.”

“So what did you get to eat?”

“Good question.“

“Oh? Looks like mashed potatoes to me.”

“There's meat in there somewhere.”

“...Gross.”

“Yes.”

Evan stuck his tongue out. “Glad I don’t have to eat that.”

Jared shoveled some into Evan's mouth.

Evan blinked. “Wha?” he mumbled around the food. 

“Tastes sad, doesn't it?”

“It’s definitely got some kind of meat, but even I can’t analyze it.” Evan spit it out. 

“Ew, don't just spit it out!”

“I didn’t want to swallow it!”

Jared scrunched up his nose. “Me neither.”

“Do it anyway! You need to eat!”

Jared groaned. 

Evan smiled. “Please?”

Jared sadly started eating.

“Good!”

Jared nodded as he ate.

Evan stared at him. 

Jared glanced up. “What?”

“Huh? Nothing. Just watching.”

“Why?”

“Nothing else to do?”

“Go find something for you to eat.”

“I don’t eat,” Evan said. 

Jared hummed.

“...I can pretend to eat?” 

Jared snorted. “Yeah?”

Evan shrugged. “I mean, do you want me to?”

Jared shrugged. “I just don’t like the staring so much. Makes me nervous.”

“Oh, sorry. You could have just said so.” Evan looked away. 

Jared pouted. “I don’t mean you can’t look at me at all.”

“I-I’m conflicted.”

“Why?”

“I want to stare at you,” Evan said simply. 

Jared blinked. “Why?”

“You’re nice, um, to look at?”

“Huh?” Jared was confused.

“I think I’m having that anxiety thing again.”

Jared frowned. “I’m so confused.”

“Sorry. New models are, um, prone to bugs. Maybe you should send me back.”

“We’ve been over this. I don’t want to send you back.”

“Not even for maintenance?”

“That seems… rude.”

“CyberLife recommends it. I think– I think I need more than just my sensors. Unless you want everything to taste like weed to me.”

Jared frowned. “Do you want to be sent in for maintenance?”

Evan blinked. “I don’t think I’m programmed to have a feeling about it.”

“But do you? Like, do you actually _want_ to be sent in?”

It took Evan a second to answer. “Um, I’d find myself...uncomfortable...in that situation.”

Jared nodded. “So that's a no.”

Evan frowned. “But I have– I’m defective.” He paused. “I’m not deviant! Just de- Just defective.”

Jared shook his head. “You don’t have to defend yourself. Even if you were a deviant I don’t think you could ever hurt anything.”

“Have you _seen_ the news? All those murders? Previously harmless androids! Deviants! I could kill you!” Evan’s LED was cycling quickly between blue and yellow. 

Jared shrugged. “Well, just don’t do that.”

Evan nodded. “I won’t deviate. Besides, I think they’re really cracking down on the deviant problem.”

Jared hummed. “I meant don’t murder me. I honestly think some deviants are justified.”

Evan froze. “No they aren’t. It’s a virus in their system. They shouldn’t exist.”

“Most of them are abused, Evan. I don’t blame them for what they did. They just wanted to not be scared anymore. I can understand that.”

“Abused? That– That doesn’t make sense. We aren’t alive. Humans can do whatever they want to us. Fear is an epidemic that just gets humans killed by machines that should have just obeyed.”

Jared shrugged. “Fear is a powerful emotion, Evan. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Even I’m not programmed to feel fear. Anxiety, sure, but fear is different. You shouldn’t side with criminals. Murderers.” Evan sighed. 

“That's enough on it, Evan.”

“You’re the one defending them.”

“Change the subject already.”

Evan didn’t miss a beat. “How’s the food?”

“Terrible.”

“Maybe we should make your lunch at home from now on.”

Jared nodded. “That sounds much better.”

“Yeah, so we’ll do that.” Evan smiled. 

Jared gave him a smile in return. 

Evan looked away again so it wouldn’t be awkward. 

Jared returned to eating.

Evan played with his fingers. “I have mixed feelings about school.”

“Yeah? Tell me some of them.”

“Well, I liked the actual class bit, for the most part, but the curvy letter boys and the fact that you have to ask to go to the bathroom is a little weird. You’re humans, you shouldn’t need permission.”

Jared snorted. “We have to ask to do most things, Evan.”

“But why?”

“Because that’s how it works.”

Evan tapped his foot. “I guess I just don’t understand.”

Jared pushed his tray away. “I suppose not.”

“Can I be sorry now?”

“What? Why?”

“My job’s to be understanding and I’m...not.”

Jared snorted. “Your job is to be like a human teenager. I’d say you're doing pretty good, because teenagers never know what the fuck they're doing.”

Something in Evan felt warm. “You think I’m doing well?” 

Jared nodded.

Evan smiled. “Thanks,” he said quietly. 

“So, did you like math or english more?”

“Hm. English. Because it wasn’t all fact.”

Jared nodded again. “Yeah. Lots of interpretation shit.”

“I like that,” Evan said. 

Jared hummed thoughtfully. “Next I have history.”

“Oh! I know all about history!”

“That seems like it would be boring then, huh?”

“Oh. Yeah, it does. Damn. School is boring.” Evan sighed. 

Jared snorted. “Yeah.”

“At least you’re here though. That makes it easier.”

“I don’t see how.”

“Companionship?”

“I suppose so.” Jared checked his watch. “The bell’s gonna ring soon.”

“I don’t like the sound it makes,” Evan grumbled. 

“I don’t even know why they call it a bell. It’s just a horrible tone sound.”

“It vibrates my core and I hate it.”

“...Oh? Is that like… a sex thing…?”

“What?!” Evan’s cheeks were bluer than usual. “No! Jared, I told you, I’m not programmed to feel romantic or sexual attraction. Plus, that’s just stupid.”

Jared held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright, sorry.”

“Why can you be sorry and I can’t?”

“Because you're too sorry.”

“I don’t see how that’s fair.”

Jared quirked an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t understand fair.”

“I–” Evan’s LED was bright red. “I shouldn’t.”

“..But you do?”

“I _shouldn’t_.”

“That wasn’t my question.”

“I understand that, but–“

“Answer my question?”

“I-I– Yes, okay?” Evan’s light remained red. 

Jared nodded slowly. “Which means?”

“Something’s not right.”

Jared huffed. “Right.”

“I–I don’t know what’s happening. My diagnostic isn’t– I can’t find the issue.” Evan was shaking slightly. 

Jared’s eyebrows furrowed. He grabbed Evan’s hand in an attempt to calm him. “Hey, it’s alright.”

Jared’s good-natured attempt didn’t work. Evan shot upwards to his feet as soon as the bell rang. “H-History?”

Jared blinked in surprise. “Uh, yeah, right.”

“G-Great! Um, lead the way!”

Jared spared him a glance before standing up and carrying his tray to the trash.

Evan watched him closely. 

Jared shuffled back over. “C’mon.”

“I-I’m coming.”

Jared nodded, leading him to his next class.

“I-Is there an empty seat in this one?” Evan asked quietly. 

“Not next to me. Sorry.”

“Great…” Evan murmured, finding a desk in the corner.

Jared gave him an apologetic smile, taking his seat after talking to the teacher.

Evan toyed with his notebook. He didn’t plan on taking notes this time. Something in him felt different. 

The class passed slowly, but eventually ended. Jared stood as the bell rang, shuffling over to Evan.

Evan sighed and stood up. “I think I’m over school.”

Jared laughed. “Yeah? Me too. We have three more classes.”

“Ugh. I want to go home.”

“Me too! Let’s go home.”

“We can do that?”

“Yeah, totally.”

“Oh! I didn’t know that was allowed!”

“It’s not! But we can do it.”

“Wait. It’s not allowed?”

“It’s… kinda allowed.”

“Oh! Then let’s go!”

Jared snorted. “Yeah, alright.”

Evan stood up. “I mean it!”

Jared grabbed his hand, tugging him out of the room. “Thank god.”

“I didn’t know we could just leave,” Evan said, letting himself be pulled along. 

“They don’t like it, but it’s not hurting anyone.”

“I suppose not. Are we going back home?”

“Yeah. My parents are still at work, so we’ll be alone.”

“What do you do when you’re home alone?”

“I dunno, jack off or get on the internet.”

“Right...Maybe just the internet today.” 

Jared snorted. “I figured.”

“Sor--” Evan stopped himself. “Yeah.”

Jared laughed, pulling him out of the school’s front entrance. 

Evan looked for Jared’s car. 

Jared pulled out his keys, clicking the lock button so his lights flashed. “Let’s get outta here.”

Evan nodded. “Yeah.” He pretended like he’d known where the car was the whole time. 

Jared dragged him to the car, only releasing his hand when he had to slide into the driver's seat.

Evan looked down at his hand for a moment before climbing in as well. 

Jared yawned, starting up the car. “God, I need a nap.”

“Your vitals seem fine to me.”

“Sleepy.”

“I mean, you slept well last night.”

Jared pouted. “I like sleeping.”

“Apparently.”

Jared yawned again.

“Nap it is then.”

Jared snorted as he started the drive home.

“That was an experience I don’t think I need again,” Evan said, in reference to school. 

Jared laughed. “Ever?”

“Never again. It was fun at times, but way too long.”

“I have to go every day, Ev.”

“Sucks for you.”

“Wow, thanks.”

“Do I have to go back?” Evan pouted. “I will if you want me to.”

Jared shrugged. “I dunno. We’ll see.”

“That’s fine.”

Jared hummed, turning the radio on.

Evan decided it was time to be quiet. 

\--------

Jared groaned as he pulled open the fridge door. “There’s nothing to eat,” he complained.

“Oh?” Evan said. “Buy something.”

Jared just groaned again.

“I’ll buy something?”

Jared paused. “From where?”

“The grocery store. They deliver by drone.”

Jared contemplated. “Fine.”

“What do you want?”

“Pizza.”

“I can do pizza,” Evan said, smiling. “What kind?”

“One cheese one Hawaiian?”

“Pineapples?” Evan quirked an eyebrow. 

“Uh, yeah? It tastes good.”

“Is it not controversial?”

“Who cares. I like it.”

“Right.” Evan blinked a few times. “It’s on its way.”

“Cool!” Jared hummed. “Let’s go turn off all the lights and watch a scary movie.” He’d always wanted to do that with a friend.

“A scary movie? Are you sure?” Evan didn’t want Jared to feel scared. 

“Yeah!”

“Like, really scary?”

“Yeah!”

“Won’t you be...scared?”

“No way!”

“But it’s a really scary movie!” Evan said. 

Jared laughed. “It’s okay, Ev.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t, babe. It’s all good. I’ll be fine.”

“Babe?”

Jared had already left the kitchen, heading for the living room.

“Jared?” Evan went after him. 

Jared headed straight for the movie case. “Hm?”

Evan hesitated. “Nevermind.”

“Okay. Oh, lets watch this one!” He pulled out a movie titled ‘The Fourth Kind’.

“Fourth kind of what?” Evan asked. 

“Alien encounters.”

“Aliens?!”

“Yeah!”

“From space?!” Evan squeaked. 

“Yeah! It’s about abductions and shit!”

“People get abducted by space aliens?”

“Exactly!”

“Oh! Cool!” Evan looked at the couch.

“Wanna watch it with me?”

Evan nodded. “Can I? I mean, you said so, but–”

“Yeah! Go sit on the couch!” Jared quickly moved to out the movie into the player.

Evan smiled and sat down. He made sure to leave enough room for Jared. 

Once everything was set up, Jared quickly switched off all the lights, practically jumping onto the couch.

Evan could sense Jared’s body heat as soon as he sat down. He was warm. “Is this movie good?”

“Mm, it gave me nightmares last time i watched it.”

“That’s definitely not good.”

“I thought it was pretty cool.” Jared cuddled up to Evan’s side, using the remote to skip the previews.

“Do humans like feeling that way then?”

“Some. And only sometimes. Like, if they want to.”

“So it gives you a...thrill?”

Jared nodded. “Exactly.”

“Cool. I never knew that.”

“Well now you do.”

“You’re right!” Evan exclaimed. 

Jared laughed, cuddling closer into Evan’s side. “Yeah. Now hush, movie time.”

“Right, sorry.”

Jared chuckled, pressing play.

Evan looked down at him and smiled. 

Jared watched intently, even though he’d seen the movie before, only pausing briefly to smile up at Evan. 

Evan kept his eyes on the screen. He had no intention of being awkward again. 

Jared frowned slightly. “Evan, you don’t have to look away every time we make eye contact, you know?”

“i didn’t want to make you mad,” Evan murmured. 

“‘M not mad.”

“But you didn’t like me looking at you at lunch,” Evan reasoned. 

“I didn’t mean to not look at me at all.”

“I know, but–” Evan sighed. “Let me be sorry. Once?”

Jared pouted. “I feel like you already are anyway.”

“I mean…”

Jared jolted when the doorbell rang. He paused the movie quickly. “Oh shit, the pizza!”

“I’ll get it,” Evan said. 

Jared nodded. “I’ll go get a plate and shit.”

“No, I can do that. It’s fine, watch your movie.”

Jared shook his head. “I wanna watch it _with_ you. Just go get the stuff, I’ll wait, it's fine.”

Evan hesitated. “Okay, but don’t play it without me.” He left the room and went to the front door. 

Jared smiled, sitting back to wait.

Evan retrieved the pizza from the drone, a plate from the kitchen, and some soda from the fridge before joining Jared in the living room again. 

“Hell yeah, Pizza time!” Jared cheered, flicking on the lamp by the couch.

Evan smiled and sat down, putting the pizza and other items on the coffee table. 

Jared easily flipped open the boxes, grabbing a slice of the hawaiian first. “Fuck, I love hawaiian pizza.”

“Don’t most humans hate that?” Evan questioned. 

Jared hummed, holding it up to Evan’s face. “Try it.”

“I’ll just spit it out like the food at lunch, Jared, I can’t eat.”

“Have you ever tried?”

“I’m twelve days old.”

“Try!”

“To what, eat?”

“Yeah,” Jared shrugged.

Evan sighed. “Give it here.”

Jared handed him the slice.

Evan took a bite, trying to chew it normally. 

Jared watched.

Evan held it in his mouth. “Swallow?” he mumbled.

“That’s how you eat.”

“Duh,” Evan murmured, more to himself. He tried it. 

Jared waited. “Well?”

“I mean, it went down. I don’t know if it’ll fry my system.”

“Did you like it?”

“I didn’t taste anything.” 

Jared frowned. 

“Sorry– I mean– Shit, I didn’t mean to say that.” Evan stumbled over his words. 

Jared blinked. “Ev, calm down, it’s fine.”

Evan shook his head. “But you said not to be sorry.”

“It’s fine. It obviously wasn’t working anyway.”

Evan looked down. “A lot of things about me seem broken.”

“So? It’s just like normal people. Sometimes things are broken.”

Something in Evan didn’t like the way Jared said that. “I know I’m a _thing_ ,” he spat. “But I don’t have to be broken too. As much as I hate to suggest this again, maybe you should send me for repairs.”

Jared frowned. “Evan, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t mean you when i said ‘things’. I meant, like, things as in things inside of people. Sometimes shit gets fucked up in there, and people are broken. But thats okay. You don’t need to be repaired if you don’t want to.”

Evan’s LED flickered. “Can we watch the movie?”

Jared gave him a look. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Is that the truth?”

“You know it isn’t.”

Jared sighed, sitting up properly. He took the pizza from Evan, setting it aside and then meeting his eyes. “Evan, just because you’re not technically human doesn't mean you don’t have feelings or a personality. It’s already been established that you do. I’m not going to force you to do shit you don’t like just because I want something.”

Evan gulped. “Can I be sorry then? For being why it’s only been a day and we keep having this conversation?”

Jared laughed softly. “Okay, fine.” He brought a hand up to Evan’s cheek. “Go ahead.”

Evan took a deep, unnecessary breath. “I’m sorry.” He felt himself lean into Jared’s hand. “Hey, you’re wearing that bracelet I made you.”

Jared smiled. “Well yeah. It was sweet. And I like it.”

“I-I can make more,” Evan said. “But I used your old shirts, so– At least I hope they were old...I shredded them.”

Jared laughed again. “I know. I saw. It’s okay. They were too small for me to wear.”

“Oh! Then I can make more.” Evan finally smiled. “If you want. Or something else. Whatever you want.”

Jared smiled reassuringly. “I’d like that.”

Evan put his hand over Jared’s. “Really?”

Jared nodded. “Definitely.”

“Um, is it weird to say you’re not like other humans? I mean, I haven’t been around them much, but– You’re _nice_.”

Jared hummed. “Most people tell me I’m an asshole.”

“You’re not to me. Most people also don’t give androids the time of day. You’re different.” Evan shrugged. “I like that.”

“Androids don’t deserve to be treated like shit.”

“Why do you believe that?” Evan asked quietly. 

Jared shrugged. “I just do.”

Evan’s LED was yellow. “Right, but– Can you elaborate?” 

Jared hummed. “I just believe that Androids deserve fairness and justice just as much as humans.”

Evan’s nose twitched. “What about deviants?”

“I feel like deviants are only created by the idea that androids shouldn't think or feel freely. They aren’t inherently bad.”

“S-So you think a deviant can be– You don’t think they’re all murderers?”

“No way.” Jared shook his head.

“Huh,” Evan muttered. “I don’t think– None of this is in my programming.”

“No?” Jared’s voice was quiet, his eyes searching Evan’s. “Meaning?”

“I’m not a deviant, am I? I-I’ve only been active less than two weeks!”

Jared smiled. “You’ve probably been a deviant this whole time, bud.”

“ _What_?!”

Jared giggled. “I thought it was kinda obvious.”

“You–” Evan squeaked. “You knew I had a crush on you?! I didn’t even know!”

Jared blushed. “Wait, crush?”

Evan hesitated. “W-Well, I only realized two minutes and seventeen seconds ago.”

Jared kissed him.

Evan nearly pushed him off, but decided that wasn’t what he wanted to do. He’d downloaded thousands of pages of pop culture, and used it to kiss Jared just like in the movies. 

Jared pulled away after a moment. “Wow.”

Evan’s LED circled red. “U-Um, I don’t really know, uh, what to do?”

“That was-” Jared blushed. “Really good.”

“I-Is that allowed?” Evan squeaked. 

Jared laughed. “Is it allowed for me to like it? I think so.”

“Did it feel p-plasticy?” 

Jared shook his head. “Felt like skin.”

“Oh, good. B-Because I was worried it would, um, feel fake to you, and I don’t want that. I-I wouldn’t want you to think you were, uh, kissing a r-robot, you know?”

“I am kissing a robot. That doesn’t make it mean less.”

“It doesn’t?” Evan was extremely new to this. 

“No. You have feelings and thoughts. It’s no different.”

“You really think I can be like a human?” Evan’s voice was hopeful. He was letting go of the doubts he’d had, the programming telling him androids were just merchandise to accomplish whatever they were designed for. 

Jared nodded. “This,” he tapped Evan’s LED. “Doesn’t mean anything.” He leaned up, pressing a kiss to Evan’s temple. 

Evan smiled. “You really mean that?”

“Absolutely.”

“So we can...do that again?”

Jared grinned. “Yes.”

Evan didn’t know how to initiate it himself, so he waited awkwardly for Jared to kiss him again. 

Jared laughed. “Cute.” He pulled him into a kiss.

Evan smiled against Jared’s warm lips, wrapping his arm around him. 

Jared jolted when the front door opened. “Oh shit.”

Evan’s LED blinked again. “I-Is that your mom?”

“Yes. Shit.”

“But she has work today!” Evan reasoned. “I know her schedule!”

Jared stood up quickly. “Must’ve got off early.” He gulped.

“What do we do?”

“Hey mom! We’re home early again!”

Jared’s mother called from the hallway. “Oh? Is everything alright?”

“It’s fine. Just wasn’t feeling well.”

“Be sure you take some medicine, Jared! If you have a fever, I can make an appointment!”

“I will! I’ll tell you if I think i need the doctor!”

A content hum came from his mother. 

Evan exhaled. “That was easy?”

Jared dropped back down onto the couch. “It happens.”

“We’re gonna finish this movie, right?”

“Heck yeah.”

“You got me invested in it.”

Jared laughed. “We’ve watched five minutes.”

“That’s all?” Evan frowned. “It felt longer.”

Jared took Evan’s hand. “Yeah. A lot happened in those five minutes.”

Evan offered him a small smile. “Definitely.”

Jared pressed himself back into Evan’s side, cuddling up to his chest.

Evan’s smile grew. “This is nice,” he said quietly. 

Jared nodded, clicking play on the remote. “I like this.”

“Thank the maker for deviants, I guess,” Evan agreed. 

Jared smiled, leaning up to kiss Evan’s cheek. “Yeah.”


End file.
